is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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