better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize