How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
