There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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