Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
