What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
