can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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