I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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