i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
