i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
