You can't special order awesome
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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