I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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