I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
