i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
