I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
