It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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