is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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