I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
