If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
