we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
