Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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