After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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