I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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