I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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