You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I have tasted many bathrooms
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
