The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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