Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
