I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
