I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
