A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
