i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize