I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
