He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
