I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
