oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
