This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
