We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
