You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
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