I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
