I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
