Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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