oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
