I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
