omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
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I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
The air taste purple.
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