now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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