Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm too high and old for this...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
