Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
