We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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