R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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