Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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