I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
