I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
