Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
