i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
