My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
