But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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