I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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