boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
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I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
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my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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