dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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